Pages Menu
Categories Menu

Posted on Oct 25, 2012

The Value of Tidiness in Marriage

Embracing the value if tidiness is not just for those that suffer with obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD). It can help bring order to your life and even improve your marriage.

As a differentiating value, Tidiness means neat and orderly; organization of things into a state of order and symmetry.

As I was researching bloggers talking about tidiness in marriage, I was surprised to find that Google automatically associated tidiness with cleanliness. I suppose in most families, tidiness is generally associated with the value of Cleanliness, which means good hygiene; the habit of keeping free of superficial imperfections.

On this note, I was delighted to find this blog post:

Post:  101 Ways to Love your Wife: Cleanliness

The writer of this blog, The Respected Husband, accepted a challenge from his wife to come up with 101 Ways to Love your Wife. Under the category of cleanliness, he highlights 15 ways men can show their love for their wives.

I wouldn’t even have considered #1: “Make sure that you’re clean – get that shower.” Guess it depends on one’s personal hygiene habits.

#3 is hilarious, but (sadly) true: Seat up or down doesn’t make a difference as much as whether or not you’re having trouble with your aim!” Based on what I’ve witnessed in many restrooms in restaurants and gas stations, it’s not just little boys that have this problem.

Some men might have difficulty with #9: “Get rid of clothes that she doesn’t like.” The process of evaluation is generally based on factors outside of the home – work, church, school, or play. How often do you consider your spouse when thinking about what clothes to keep and what to discard?

But my favorite is #14: Don’t make more work for her by trying to be helpful and clean something and then do a bad job at it!” To me, this one is huge.

How often do we try to help our spouse by cleaning up or tidying up what WE think needs doing, and the way WE think it should be done? Then on top of that, we expect to be thanked for our work!

But when you see your spouse ‘re-doing’ what you just did AND with a look of frustration, then comes the comment “why even bother!” On this note, The Respected Husband struck a chord on multiple levels that provides wise insight for both husbands and wives.

Ummm… if you still haven’t figured out how to deal with this issue of helping your spouse tidy up in a relevant and meaningful way – ASK! Talk about it. Learn what matters to your spouse.

Quite frankly, its simple wisdom to keep a home neat and tidy, in a state of order, when two people live together under the same roof. Not only does it make it easier to live together, it even helps avoid unnecessary arguments, such as “Where are my car keys?” or “What did you do with the checkbook?”

In marriage, embracing the value of tidiness – and cleanliness – can help preserve peace and make living together enjoyable.


Which of the 15 items on The Respected Husband’s blog was your favorite?

Is tidiness and cleanliness a natural part of your marriage?


Today’s value was selected from the “Harmony-Order” category, based on the e-book Developing Your Differentiating Values.