Posted on Nov 29, 2012

7 Key Qualities of a Healthy Marriage

Most married couples would like a healthy marriage. So why is the divorce rate in America so high? Because many marriages are not so healthy.

You likely know at least one (or more) married couples that do not have a healthy marriage. How do you know? It’s self-evident.

Can you tell if or when a marriage is healthy? That’s not so easy. But if you want to keep a marriage healthy, there are some key qualities that need to be possessed.

First, let’s understand what health means as a value.

The Value of Health

As a differentiating value, Health means free from infirmity or disease; a state of wellbeing.

Being healthy is not like a light switch, either on or off. It’s more like a balancing act where too much of one thing or not enough of something is not good.

To complicate things, when thinking of someone’s health or wellbeing there are 4 sides of health to consider: physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual. Someone could be healthy physically, but be an emotional wreck. A person might appear mentally sound, but be in a state of confusion and fear spiritually.

In other words, the value of health is complex.

So it shouldn’t be surprising if a lot of individuals – and marriages – are struggling with health issues across different fronts. The goal is to move away from a disease once recognized and maintain a state of wellbeing.

Thankfully, there are some key qualities that couples can rely on to help keep a healthy marriage.

7 Key Qualities of a Healthy Marriage

Social scientists at the University of Maryland list thirty-seven different qualities of a healthy marriage. That’s a lot. A careful study of these suggests some common traits.

Assessing these against the value of health listed above, 7 key qualities emerge that really matter. If we were building a house, these would be the foundation. Without these 7 qualities, no marriage would likely survive.

Couples in a healthy marriage possess:

Respect. They admire and esteem each other, and are courteous and considerate.
Trust. They have faith and confidence in each other, and live without fearing the other.
Hope. They are filled with great expectations, linked to attainable goals, and are resilient in tough times.
Teamwork. They share in both decision-making and the work, and accept responsibility for their own decisions and behaviors.
Enjoyment. They enjoy each other’s company and discussing ideas, and are happy with the amount of affection demonstrated in the relationship.
Giving. They freely give of themselves to help others, including being willing to forgive that leads to reconciliation.
Adaptability. They are willing to change, adapt, and grow, even in a changing environment.

So how do these qualities help a couple who might have some marriage issues? The first step is to acknowledge something is wrong. The next step is to identify what key qualities are missing and work to regain them. It’s a whole lot easier if you know what you’re looking for.